How to Overcome the Obstacles of Being the “First in Your Family” to Go to College

It’s Different for First-Generation Students

Mileny was the first in her family to go to college, leaving her New York neighborhood for a women’s college in suburban Massachusetts. She says “I remember coming back and just seeing things so differently. But my family haven’t changed in the way they want me to be. They don’t want me to go out, they don’t want me to go far.”

Mileny’s story is just one of several included in What Kids Can Do’s First in the Family: Advice about College from First-Generation Students. The students in First in the Family go through difficulties beyond the usual stressors of applying to college, including feeling unsupported by their families; not having any idea how to pay for school or who to talk to about applying; and getting to college only to be surrounded by privileged students who spend all their breaks in Vail and Cancun.

The following are some of the most common challenges first-generation students face, according to experts who’ve been helping them get into college for years. Here’s what you can do to overcome them.

Struggle #1: Feeling Like High School Didn’t Prepare You for College. Being upset because you feel cheated out of a decent high school education is pretty normal, the experts say; many first-generation students didn’t attend top high schools. But also keep in mind that at least 40% of freshmen take remedial classes their first year of college because their high schools didn’t prepare them for college, so you’re not alone if you feel woefully unprepared. Do not take it as a personal failure, and be aware that your college has plenty of resources to help you deal with this and other academic surprises.

Advice: “Become aware of what type of academic resources are at the institution you want to attend,” says MorraLee Holzapfel, Director of Outreach & Member Services for the Ohio College Access Network. “For instance, some colleges have learning communities (students with like-minded career aspirations living together in residence halls), many have study groups, and most have staffed centers that offer free tutoring in areas such as math and writing.”

Also, find out from students if the faculty is accessible and supportive (ask the admissions office for student contact information). Above all, it’s important to be in a supportive environment.

Struggle #2: Not Knowing How to Apply to School or for Financial Aid. The task of applying to college can seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be.

Advice: CEO of Cincinnati Youth Collaborative, Jane Keller, offers the following for making it easier. “First, make sure your teachers and counselors know you are not stopping your education with high school. They can help. Also, if guidance counselors aren’t available and/or short in number, seek out college access programs in your school such as GEAR UP or Upward Bound.”

Keller also advises seeking out high school classes that help you find after school internships with a business or community organization. “Often you’ll find here individuals who will push you to take the next steps to college and be willing to help with these steps. Don’t pass up the opportunity to seek help outside of the school walls. Network, learn, connect and talk to people," Keller recommends.

Web resources Keller recommends

In addition to people resources, check out the following Web resources (in this order):

Knowhowtogo.org. Lists the four steps to college and provides help by student grade level.
The College Board. Provides information and registration for the PSAT and SAT (college entrance tests).
US Department of Education. Downloadable free application for Federal Student Aid.
College View. Provides college matches based on your criteria, including region, size, and population.

Struggle # 3. Getting to College and Being Surrounded by Privileged People

Advice. “If you get to college and find yourself surrounded by people who have all the advantages, it can be lonely,” admits Kathleen Kushman, author of First in the Family. But she offers advice based on the experience of other first-generation students. “Many of the college students who contributed to First in the Family joined student clubs that had a special interest in their cultural backgrounds, such as a Latino fraternity or a multicultural organization.

"They also looked for activities that would bring diverse people together with a common purpose, like community service or political activism. Before long, their network of friends had expanded, and they graduated from college with friends from many different backgrounds.”

Struggle #4: Dealing With a Family That Doesn’t Want You to Change. Sometimes, first-generation college students find that their efforts to apply for college and their visits home are not always supported by their families. For instance, their families may not help them apply to college or want to talk about their lives at college when they come home for visits.

As Keller puts it, “Reaching back home might not feel the same. Expect that you might feel differently as well…” Keller recommends finding ways to keep in touch with family and friends, including sending clippings from the campus newspaper or explaining that the values your parents instilled in you have helped you with school. “Relationships will change,” she says. “It’s inevitable. It might not be easy to keep the right balance, some friends may fade, but remember it was probably your family and friends who helped provide your first sense of who you were. You will grow and change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a connecting point to the ones you love.”

FYI

For more information on First in the Family: Advice About College from First-Generation Students, a book written with students for What Kids Can Do, go to www.firstinthefamily.org. First in the Family was produced with support from the Lumina Foundation.